I Am Striking Back

It’s been eight good months since I left home for my own place. In one of my articles I termed this place a jungle because of its appearance. Like any other jungle, the presence of baboons is inevitable. There has been a baboon in my jungle, thieving my stuff 🤦🏾‍♀. Sometime last year after I evicted the tenant who had been using the other bedroom, my house help reported that she had found the door open and her money had been pilfered. I took it lightly, but the next time this baboon visited on my baby’s cutlery and food. Still, I thought it was my helper playing some games with me. One Sunday afternoon, after my maid had long left the job, I found the door open and yes, the baboon had come for my baby’s food again! Finally, I fixed the door and the visits stopped.

When I was thinking I had dealt effectively with the baboon raids, it struck again! A few weeks ago, when I was at my parents’ place, I got a call from my neighbour asking me if I had forgotten to lock the door since they saw it open. My heart skipped a beat, I thought, “This time around the baboon has taken everything.” I knew very well that the door had been locked, but anyways, he had obviously found some new tricks to open it. Without wasting much time, I found my way back to the jungle. Happily, nothing that I knew of was missing but I guessed he had feasted on my cousin’s bedroom.

On Tuesday the 16th, I got home to find the door opened. I checked thoroughly to see if anything was missing but couldn’t find any evidence of having being robbed. This baboon is a clever one, it has strategic stealing skills. It’s only yesterday when I decided to have my laundry washed that I realised some of my clothes had been stolen! What a bitter pill to swallow!🤦🏾‍♀ The baboon chose only the warm clothes. Just the fact that you realise someone has been going through your stuff in your absence sent chills down your spine. After the laundry incident, I went on to pack my clothes then also noticed a few more missing, he took my favorite dress, and a borrowed one too 🤦🏾‍♀. This got me so mad but am like, “It’s fine Tabi, you will get more.”

I woke up rejuvenated today, Friday the 19th of June but my joy turned to misery when I realised the cap I had recently bought was gone too. This infuriated me so much that I started meditating on striking back. Enzo Ishal’s song, “vanhu vakaziva kuti hausi muroyi vanodherera” (once they know that you don’t practice witchcraft they take advantage of you) started playing on repeat in mind. For the first time in my life I wished to have a feel of black magic. It could be a good idea, right? 🤷🏿‍♀️. Hahaha so, am calling on all the sangomas out there to gimme a hand. Maybe black magic is too much, then any of these powerful papas will do. I wanna see who this baboon is. Whoever it is doesn’t he feel sorry for this single momma? Yea striking back is the way out. 🤣