Relationship Feud: Baby Mama vs Current Wife (Part 2)

Thank you readers for your answers to my questions on Part 1 of this sequel. (Now I know and I will treat my relationship with current wife wisely, much love to you all.)

What then transpired…

After my response, I decided to ask more questions because closure was truly needed. Here is our mini chat:

[5/6, 11:07] BM: So iwewe wat did you think I was after from u?
[5/6, 11:46] CW: i dont know thats why i had to look for your number and ask thot u have staff to say just like the last time
[5/6, 11:48] BM: Not at all, if i had anything to say I would have looked for your number 😊.
[5/6, 11:48] CW: cool then
[5/6, 11:54] BW: For the record I dont have anything against you neither at your man. I made peace with my soul and accepted what happened.
[5/6, 11:57] CW: maybe you should know that too i have nothing against u since the day u spoke to m i guess u noticed the type of person i am i made a prayer to God funny i prayed for you instead of being mad or anything its life at the end of the day and Mwari zvake hawanzodhakwe
[5/6, 12:00] BM: Yaa and I respect you so much for that, you did what a lot of women would never do
Yes God is always faithful and thats one thing that made me move on. And all happens for a reason and purpose.

To summarise our small chat, I asked what she thought about my request to which she responded that she thought I had some burning issue to share with her since the last time we talked I had had something for her. So yea, when I was pregnant, still fighting for baby dad’s attention, we had this tense fight where he cursed my family. That didnt go down well with me and got me texting her, notifying her that I was carrying her man’s child. None of us was married to him by then. She congratulated me and wished me well. That was a huge surprise because I thought she would respond angrily, but instead we had a good conversation. But she went on to fight with her man, which got baby dad fuming furiously at me. This became another reason why he totally rejected me. Anyways such is life.

Back to our chat, I then told her that if I had had anything to tell, I would have done it directly like the first time. My sentiments at that moment were that she is insecure and still feels threatened by my existence. This got me concluding our conversation by telling her that I didn’t have anything against them. Much as I wanted to ask her why she wasnt pushing her man to support his child, I just felt it wasn’t my position to do so and let it pass. She then said she was also good with me and mentioned that God would not get drunk (let anyone down). So yea, I was glad she knows that, though I did not exactly understand context she meant it in. I acknowledged that and ended the conversation because God has been faithful to me since day one and I know he will forever be faithful, which is why I named my daughter Akatendeka.

So to all my married sisters out there, it’s always good to keep great relations with the “unfortunate” sisters, it doesn’t hurt to make sure your hubby’s kids are getting the child support they deserve. Never feel threatened by BM, she lost the battle 😉, you hold the throne.

Always take note of the red flags before marriage, marriage is not gambling. Of course people change but the fact that he had the guts to impregnate someone else while you are there, speaks volumes. Remember that child will grow, you will constantly be reminded of them so uzoba strong and keep affirming yourself that you hold the throne and shun all insecurities. Maybe one day BD will want to be with his blood, check if you be cool with that too. At the end of the day love conquers all, so maybe where there is love red flags dont matter, do they?

Relationship Feud : Baby Mama vs Current Wife (Part 1)

Tabitha is a single mom, how she became one is a story for another day. Last night I dreamt of my baby daddy, which is very unusual. Back then when we were still love birds, when one of us dreamt of the other it meant the other party was thinking of them. That’s how connected we were. On this particular day it felt so awkward as I believed the connection was dead. Ever since the baby drama happened, I had such dreams only once in a while but funny thing is no matter how bad I felt he treated me, in my dreams he was always sweet and caring. In dreamland we understand each other and he answers positively to all my questions yet in real life we don’t even say a word to each other.

I woke up trying to put head and tail to the dream, pondering if he could be missing me. Anyway I couldn’t get closure so I dumped the thought at the back of my mind. Hunger pangs got me out of bed and as I started preparing my breakfast, a message got into my Whatsapp and it was an unsaved number. I checked the display picture to see if it was anyone I know and was mesmerised to see Baby Daddy and Current Wife. My heart skipped a bit, how could this happen after my dream? So, I hi’ed back to the text wondering what’s up. It was Current Wife who had thought of me on this day. She took a long time typing and my heart was beating fast as thoughts were rushing in my mind. Finally this was it;

[5/6, 10:54] Current Wife: hi
[5/6, 10:54] Baby Mama: Hi
[5/6, 10:55] Current Wife: its CW i noticed you sent me a friend request on facebook and you part of the pple that follow me …what is that u want from me
[5/6, 11:01] Baby Mama: Oookay, your name kept showing on pple hu can be my friends so i just clicked the button. But thats optional n if u aint cool with that you dont respond like u have done. On the following aspect i dont know, i could have just clicked the button unknowingly.
There is nothing that I would want from you dear. Lol am just like any other pson who could send you a friendship request regardless of the fact that am raising your hubby’s child which was just fate.

To summarise our mini chat there, she wanted to know why I had sent her a friend request on Facebook. Well, her name kept popping up on people I may know so a couple of weeks ago I just clicked the send request button without any evil intention whatsoever. She never responded to it, which was no big deal at all. What got me puzzled was, did she see it on this particular morning or she just wanted a chat with me? Her question, “what do you want from me?”, meant a thousand things to me.

So dear readers, help me here;
1.) Was Baby Mama wrong for sending the friend request to Current Wife?
2.) Was it necessary for Current Wife to app Baby Mama asking what she wanted from her?

Your honest opinions will help me understand if my sentiments are right and it will take us to how our conversation ended.

Tabitha’s Day Out After 35 Days of Lock Down (Part 2)

Tabitha’s journey

Like I mentioned in my last post, I still had orders to be delivered the following day and it was on the 5th of May 2020. I had two orders, one for twenty masks and the other for five masks. So, I had to decide how I would deliver them, since five were needed in town and the twenty at Willowvale Industry. Early in the morning Tinashe called to notify me that the police were asking for travelling passes. He was being his colleague’s keeper, what an awesome gesture. He promised to process one for me which I gladly accepted. I stay close to Willowvale Industry and hiking there would be easier than going through town. I texted my client asking for directions from where I was but he took a while to respond. While I waited for his response, I got busy, advertising my other hustle. After an hour, he responded and I got the directions. I prepared for my journey. I wasn’t so sure that I was going to reach my destination. I put on my tight fitting black jeans and a long sleeved purple top since I knew I was going to take long walks and didn’t want to be scorched by the sun. I had my sun hat on, filled up my two litre bottle with water, then put it in my cooler bag. I packed my handbag and was ready to go.

I left home and got to the road where I looked for transport as I walked to the main Highglen road. Just a few metres before I got there, one car stopped for me after the driver signalled where he was going which was the direction I was headed to. He came to a halt a few steps from where I was and I rushed to the car told the driver where I was going then jumped in. On this day I was very cautious about respecting the “mother’s seat” so, I sat in the back. The driver sarcastically asked if it was because of corona that I chose that seat to which I agreed to emphasising the need for social distancing. I was so elated when I realised he was going the same route I was going, though he wasn’t going to my exact destination. He left me a few kilometres from where I was going. I decided to walk rather than look for another ride and it was such good exercise! I walked about five kilometres but didnt feel it as I had a stalker who entertained me all the way through on my phone. Finally, I reached my destination, delivered the order and received my payment. Yipee, I felt good.
Going back home, I didnt know how I was going to do that, but I told myself I would get another ride. I used the opposite direction to the one I had used earlier and it was much closer to the main road. As I got to the main road, I saw a car whose occupant was indicating going the route I was heading and I asked for a ride. The driver told me that he wasn’t going to Highglen Road but would drop me off along the way. As I was asking for a lift, I was on a phone call, checking on my daughter so the driver eavesdropped my conversation. When I ended the call, he asked if I was weaning my baby and then I explained to him that I had left her at her granny’s but she had been used to staying with me so she had been crying a lot. We talked until he dropped me off and it was at the same spot that I had been left earlier. I decided not to look for another ride but walk instead to Highglen Road which was about two kilometres away. Slowly I walked, not stopping any cars but hoping one would just stop and pick me up. When I had walked about five hundred metres, a good Samaritan stopped and asked me to jump in. This driver was really friendly, he told me that he noticed I was tired and so decided to rescue me. Yes, I was now tired and my feet were burning. Corona just took us back to the times where we didn’t have transport, and made me realise the importance of driving and having your own car.

The driver then asked if I wasn’t rushing because he wanted to get some battery water at the nearby Total garage at Highglen shops. No, I wasn’t rushing anywhere so I said it was all good. He went to buy the battery water but there was a small queue so after about five minutes of queuing, he came back to notify me that he was almost done. What a caring gentlemen! Finally he came back and we continued our journey. We talked all the way till it was time to say goodbye as he was now heading for his own destination. He left me at Marimba robots but before I disembarked he marketed his job to me and gave me his card. He works for this particular bank so he told me to call if am interested in any of their packages. He took off his mask as he handed me the card, was that necessary? Well, I couldn’t care less. He then asked to see my maskless face too so yea I returned the gesture, I had nothing to lose. Then he told me that I am the first person he has ever seen who is so beautiful with or without a mask, I just smiled to the compliment and disembarked from the car. Corona has just made me meet some interesting kinds of people (hahaha). I crossed the road and in a few minutes, I got my final ride. This driver was very chilled, he asked why I didn’t have my face mask on, well after removing it in that car I had forgotten to put it back on. In response, I just put on the mask. We talked about corona as we listened to the news at 1300 hours on the radio. I arrived at my destination and dropped off. I strolled home reminiscing about my day.

I finally told myself that I need to do more of working from home other than going out there until the dust has settled. So yes, Tabitha will be indoors, staying safe, she understands that corona is real.

Tabitha’s day out after 35 days of lock down (Part 1)

Effectiveness of different types of face masks

On the 4th of May 2020, I decided to get in the CBD since our dear President had remembered us the commerce sector by lifting the lock down from stage five to stage two. I grinned happily when I saw the recommendations for those who were allowed to be out there. Thank God, I had a registered business and had a product to sell that is highly in demand. I am selling the cloth face masks that I ordered from my aunt. Yes, they have a very low percentage effectiveness of taking care of the virus but they are good enough to keep one safe. Considering our economy, people look at the value for their money more so by virtue of the face masks being washable, many people are after them compared to the disposable ones. Well, am after the dollars shamelessly, I look for opportunities to get me that extra dollar. One church sister of mine taught me, “If you ain’t ashamed to put it in your purse, don’t be ashamed to look for it”, so yea if it’s legal and right I go for it. I know that corona is very real and the best way to be safe is to stay at home but money-making opportunities leave me with no choice because I need the money. I’ve got a few financial obligations I am required to meet, hence the need to maximise on every cent that comes by.

So, on this day Nath my awesome friend dropped me off in town. He is just that one friend you need in your friendship bag, very loving and loyal. I headed to the office, a place I had missed so much. At the entrance, I received a warm welcome from one of the guards who I click very well with. He is pretty elderly so I call him Sekuru. He wasn’t putting on a face mask so my first question after greetings was, “Sekuru where is your mask and why are you not complying with the regulations?” He told me that their company was yet to deliver them then asked if I had extras. Of course being the organised lady I am, I had the tissue-like two ply meant for give aways so I blessed him with two, at which he immediately gave one to his colleague. I gracefully walked into the elevator, my favorite one. It felt good being back at work.

As I reached the 6th floor where I work, it was all sombre, there was no one at the reception. How I miss those guys who normally occupy those empty chairs I was looking at. They always give me a hard time but I love them, work is not work without them.
All corridor windows were closed and no one had bothered to switch on the lights so it was a bit dim. It really looked like such a dead place to me.

I got to our work station, Office 617, and oh yes, someone was in as I didn’t have the keys. There was King Solo busy punching on his laptop. He greeted me warmly, the corona way and asked if I was selling face masks, which I gladly confirmed he became my first customer for the day. We chatted for a long time about our families, COVID-19, opportunities to be embraced during these times, it was fun. Tinashe, a guy from the next office joined us, he saw the scarves that I was selling and bought one plus a face mask. The day was really going well for me, I had two other people who had placed orders. One of them being Rusere, my favorite taxi driver. When I was about to leave the office around 1400hrs, I looked for him and went to meet him. I then gave him a client Tinashe and didn’t mind a joy ride though deep inside I knew that I wanted him to help me deliver my last order for the day. We started catching up on our way to dropping Tinashe, he indeed is one crazy guy but I love his big heart. We picked up two more people along the way since transport is scarce. We dropped Tinashe off at Helensvale shops and he bought us some drinks. En route from there we picked up three passengers again. Just as we passed Sam Levy’s we got to a police road block and two of the passengers were asked to disembark because of the need to practice social distancing. Well considering the scarcity of transport, I didn’t consider that necessary. Rusere pleaded with the police but they were adamant so he asked the two guys to drop off and wait for us ahead but unfortunately they couldn’t do so as they were called by police in some army green tent. We tried to wait for them to no avail so we then picked two more people. They told us they had been waiting at the bus stop for two hours and no ZUPCO so they had decided to stroll to town.

I managed to give my last client her mask along the way, she was so scared to be caught by the police without one. She was elated when we finally got to where I had asked her to wait. One of the passengers liked my product and bought one. It was a pretty good day for me but don’t get too excited Tabitha, the day is not yet over.

My nightmare started when I got to the rank, I felt all my energy being sapped as I saw crowds of people waiting for the buses. I started searching for my bus to Crowborough and couldn’t find it. I then decided to join the Kuwadzana bus queue, I could take a walk from Kuwadzana to Crowborough. The distance was not so bad, about two kilometres. Three buses filled whilst I stood in the queue where we were 30 cm apart and the bus was carrying thirty-five passengers only. It honestly made no sense to me, considering how people were squashed outside, then only to exercise social distancing in the bus. The Crowborough bus then arrived, I rushed to the queue but didnt have any hope of getting a seat, by then there was no bus at the former queue. Just as I pondered on who to call for aid my awesome brother called and told me he was now in town. I rushed to where he was parked and he topped up my masks since I had more orders to be delivered the following day.

I don’t know how I am going to do it, because yes we are in stage two but incapacitated. We just don’t fully understand how to comply with the preventive measures. The “put on a mask” for everyone has become a joke. I saw different kinds of masks, people are improvising, it’s not everyone who has money to spare on a mask. It’s so sad that some people still believe that as black people we are immune to the virus. I just pray that it spares us. Of course some are caught in between poverty and the pandemic. They just need to be out there to feed their families.

One crazy mask that I saw

Some are like me who can’t miss that extra dollar, when opportunity arises. I just can’t help it but find myself out there hustling although trying my best to stay safe. I know very well that I am more safe in my jungle than out there.

The world consumes life

Its over 10 years now and you are nowhere to be found Sekuru. You left our beloved home in search of greener pastures in the neighbouring foreign land. Nobody knows what happened to you. Those who last saw you said you were in Polokwane but upto this day we keep praying that you write home or just come back. No, thinking that you are dead, is our worst nightmare. I personally believe that you are hiding somewhere because hide and seek used to be our favorite play. The last time we were together we played that game but little did I know you would just vanish. How I long to be sharing with you my growing up experiences. We were such best friends and I just miss you more by each day. I keep searching on Facebook maybe one day I will link up with you. Did the world consume you that you forgot about us? Ambuya misses you as well as the younger Sekuru, do you even think of them? I wish you could just answer me. How I miss those ecstatic dancing moves, if you were around we would be dancing together. Please come back, wherever you are hiding, it is just time up to be hiding anymore. I am pretty sure that you have grown to be that handsome macho man, and you have the most beautiful woman in your life. We all cant wait for your home coming because we keep missing you by each second that passes without you…

In loving memory of my lost Sekuru Takunda Venge who just vanishesd, we just hope he is alive out there and some day make it back home…

Skin and soul

I find myself crawling
Crawling from within
I wanna pull out of this skin
This skin that has hidden a lot
You dont wanna know whats been hidden
Hidden in this glowing melanin
I have worked to remove all the scars and stretch marks
Stretch marks that were developed from my need to mantain a certain standard
Deep within i just want to be me
Me who wants to be to understood
You cant be within my soul
Maybe you could understand
Understand what it means to be a black woman
Who is proud of her dark chocolate skin
But still stuggling to crawl out of it
Because it hides a lot within
And all she seeks is to be heard
Hear her inward cry
She cries to be freed
Free her from the agony within
Accept her as who she is
Just embrace her flaws
She is just but a super woman
Who needs a strong support system to mantain her soul and skin



26/01/2020 : 0600hrs