The Son That Became A Daughter

I remember when you were still in my belly, I really wanted that you be a boy. It was because I felt the pain of being a woman in this patriarchal society (a story for another day). The baby items I bought initially were all blue and I had a gift bag that decorated my room with the caption, “It’s a boy!!!” I even heard God telling me you were a boy, (guess those were just my crazy imaginations triggered by my inner desire). At 7 months I had my final scan and it showed me that you were a girl. I was so disappointed, Vovo can testify as she was right by my side (I am still especially grateful for the love you showed me throughout the whole journey). I had to ask the Radiographer, “You could have seen wrong, right?” She smiled and said, “If you give birth to a boy, come back and prove me wrong.” Patiently, I waited for your delivery day and after 7 hours 25 minutes of labour, I delivered you my baby girl. Of course, I learnt to accept that you were a girl in those last two months and secured pink clothes for you, though your boyish clothes still remained.

I remember how Tari would always tell me not to make you put on blue clothes. But honestly colours didn’t matter; I still wanted that boy child that I believed you were for the greater part of my pregnancy. But now I strongly believe, “all things work together for good”. We are best friends, I want to sleep cuddling you for as long as… I don’t know. It would have been so weird if you were a guy coz probably in your teen years that would be awkward. We can still share the same bed, bath together and do all sorts of crazy stuff because we are both females. I love you my one and only daughter. Watching you grow is just so amazing. Forever grateful for that precious sperm that scooped my ovum and completed the process of procreation. 😂