Book 30, Chapter 3 Opened

Oh, God, it’s my birthday! I’m super excited to witness yet another beautiful year. This surely marks the beginning of stunning experiences, life-transforming challenges, epic moments, and cherished memories.

I feel blessed to have been born in the first month of the year. Although, where I come from, January isn’t considered an ideal month for many. For me, however, it’s a special time – the moment God chose for me to join His earthly creation. So, I’m going to make the most of it!

Instead of sharing a Happy New Year post earlier, I decided to save it for this special day. Nonetheless, I’d like to extend my warmest compliments of the new season, 2025! May all your heart’s desires be fulfilled in this beautiful year.

To truly experience the newness this year has to offer, make a conscious decision to do something differently. An increment in age is a poignant reminder that time is passing. As I grow older, I recognize the need for change.

The adulting journey is becoming more real, and I’m embracing it with each passing moment. This new year brings new opportunities, and I’m committed to making it worthwhile. I’ll take each goal I’ve set seriously, refusing to remain stagnant.

I’m eager to witness positive changes in all aspects of my life. Bring it on, 2025! I’m ready. Watch this space❣️❣️❣️

No More Excuses!

Every Tuesday morning when my alarm rings at 6am, I get a WordPress reminder that it’s time to share a story on my blog. It’s been three good months ignoring that reminder because of a million EXCUSES… I love writing with a passion and it’s one thing that brings me so much fulfilment but well here I am for the I- don’t -no th time apologising to you my lovely Readers for starving you. I know you enjoy the tales so much and once again I promise to keep you satiated from the oasis of my story telling.

I honestly didn’t plan on what am going to share today but I just told myself, “You are going to write whether you are in it or not. NO MORE EXCUSES!” Yea, that really stuck in my thick skull and got my hand to mind coordination into action.

Someone commented on my consistency in some fitness group I am in on Whatsapp. The group was opened 6 weeks ago and all participants are on a quest to drop some calories. I have religiously updated all my working out and food intake in that group even when I cheat, I state how and why. So, just having someone appreciating how much I have been consistent got me thinking of all the other areas that I have stopped paying attention to because; I am less motivated, it’s not paying off, a lot is going on in my mind, my new job is taking all my time and creativity, single-parenting is taxing, bla bla bla… I mean just because of a million EXCUSES.

This thought struck a cord and I vowed to make a positive change towards all my excuses. Instead of excuses am going to execute so, am getting back on the drawing board and give myself another 6 week challenge, where am not only focusing on weight loss but a complete mindset shift and spreading my consistency to all the areas I had sabotaged.

So, by the way in the fitness group we were on a 6-week-intensive-weight loss journey. I have been so much longing to weigh 65kg since 2022 when I realised I had ballooned but from 78kg I got to 73kg. Sometime in February this year, I told myself I will get on working out and portion control in food intake and I dropped off to 68kg in 2 months. Then that’s when I came across this amazing platform which I joined on the 20th of April and the 6-week journey commenced on the 22nd of April up to the 2nd of June and I am now on 64kg. So, now am left with mantaining and toning up my body. I am super-excited, I did it 💃🏿.

More on this journey will be shared in my upcoming blogs. Stay tuned❣️

Tabitha, is a year older❣

Walking into a new chapter of my life with so much courage and brevity, letting go the past…

A few days ago, Tabitha turned a year older. It feels so good to grow up, to see each new day, to embrace all that it brings. No matter how hard it can be, I am forever grateful for this wonderful gift of lift. I still strive to be the best version of me. I can’t deny I am getting so much impatient with a lot of things in my life, I just feel there are so many delays. Well they say delay is not denial so, help me Lord to be a little more patient. When the time is right all will perfectly fall into place, I still believe.

My birthday started on a very bad note but my rising above spirit kept me afloat. I had bae putting up an unnecessary tantrum on me because I had checked on our plans for the day, it wasn’t nothing new, we do this frequently but on this day guess he got to be on his menses 😂. We had our squabble but I did not allow it to get to me instead I channelled my energy to cleaning up some new business joint. Y’all know Tabitha is a hustler so, another idea is being brewed.

As I thought I had had enough for the day, daddy dearest got me another unwelcome surprise. He started some negative talk which I sweetly silenced him by asking him to be the support system he is meant to be. I am glad he listened and we left each other on a somewhat good standing. It really felt like they had teamed up on me with bae but well no man whatsoever was gonna mess up my day.

I went for the cleaning spree which was so therapeautic, had two friends helping me out, Precy and Liz. After cleaning up we went for ice cream with Liz. It was the perfect birthday treat ever. I felt super relieved when we left the ice-cream joint. I got home to find my daughter waiting for a cake. I promised her to get one after the back to school hustle so, am already in debt in less than 10 days into the new year 😂.

It is what it is but am glad I made the most of a day I thought was going to be sombre. This new year added unto me will surely be remarkable, I can sense it all over and around me; that 6th sense, it never lies.

I am rising above

I am back again after a long time 🤦🏾‍♀️. Consistency is still a huge challenge to me but well since it’s a new year am set for a mindset shift hence AM RISING ABOVE this obstacle and many others. Writing a new year post has been my thing since I started this blog so yipeee some consistent element is still within me; it simply needs more cultivation and am on it. I truly want to improve on this one.

This reminder pops up every Tuesday morning and stays with me all day long…

Eversince I promised to keep this place well fed, I tried to keep up for a couple of weeks and even set a reminder on my phone but well life’s happenings got the best of me as usual 🤦🏾‍♀️. If I say I wasn’t writing, I would be lying; I wrote a number of stories but just lost the motivation and strength to click the publish button. One of my excuses has been, “Oh, I am supposed to share something on my blog but I do not have time to download some graphics to add on to the story…” Yea, I made a conscious decision to keep the blog colourful and posting a story nje creeps the hell out of me… The excuse is good enough, huh?

I no longer have no writing excuse, whatsoever!

So, the point is whenever we don’t live up to our expectations, we always come up with excuses. I expect to find myself writing frequently with no excuse whatsoever but because I am human, I still have a reason why I haven’t been able to do so. Genuine or not, I know better but we do this in many things in our lives so, in this new season, I just wanna rise above any excuses. I wanna do what I am supposed to do or that which I set my mind to do effectively and consistently.

2023 has been such a challenging year for me as I have been trying to get back on my feet for I fall to rise again. I am grateful that nomatter how difficult it has been, I managed to see 2024 which is a season I am so hopeful that it is going to be a lot more better. They say talk is cheap so, in this season I pray that I may be a person of a few words and more action-oriented.

I choose to rise above all obstacles that have hindered my progress. And this is my prayer for YOU, yes you who is reading this blog, may you rise above all your challenges, you know them, list them down and tell them one by one that you are rising above❣️

Say with me, “I AM RISING ABOVE!!!”

Back from the blues

Over the past few weeks, I have been going through a rough patch. All in my life seemed upside down. Getting out of bed was such a huge task but I had to. At 5 am daily, my alarm would remind me that it’s time to face another day. This call made me super scared coz the days were coming with more sorrow than joy. I felt disturbed but no one could see it unless I told them the mess I was. At times I just found tears trickling down even when I kept confessing that, “I am okay.” This felt deceiving because I was just too far from being okay.

I am grateful for all those who showered me with so much love through comforting words although for a moment they felt like heavy blows on my weary soul because they sounded like a boring song stuck on replay. Deep inside, I just needed an immediate solution to the breakdown trigger. When I calmed a bit and paid attention to the words, I picked the silver lining and am like inasmuch as throwing in the towel feels so noble for me lemme give myself another chance. Another chance to try again, another chance to ride over the tide, another chance to believe in me, another chance to shine again… In this dark space, I got to be questioning God a million times and even accused Him of abandoning me but He reminded me that He will forever be God in good and bad times. His grace is sufficient for me, He gently whispered, “Be still…” The moment I got still all the noise within silenced and peace was all I got.

Not Forgotten Remembered with LOVE Book Launch advert

I wrote and compiled a Mental Health Awareness Poetry Anthology with other poets and experiencing some anxiety and depression after the launch of such an inspiring project was the least I expected. But I realised am not immune to the pressures and stresses of life. It takes so much courage and brevity to keep your head up high in these trying times. Not everyone really understands your inner battles, cherish the few who does. During this dark phase, I cried, vented and prayed. There were days I spent in bed, nothing made sense but today, here I am writing another song of hope. I haven’t conquered what got me down but I allowed myself to be still and start over again… I know sooner or later, I will get that which am longing for; I just keep the faith and focus.

Let’s take care of our mental health and desist from being too hard on us…

Mental Health Matters: triggered by HOZ Episode

I had a busy day trying to balance books for my new retailing business. August has been a trial run to check if it’s feasible and it has proved to be lucrative. It is said that opportunity meets preparedness, am glad that I took time to plan and get ready for this endeavour. I am forever grateful for every person who has supported me and trusted me with their needs. God bless you all.

After such a long day, all you gotta do is rest but it’s one of those days when insomnia is saying let’s stay together mami. I had a little squabble with a friend and I could sense myself losing it. At least I managed to cut the call and texted him a few reminders on our boundaries. I then had another healthier call with another friend who inspires me a lot. A few minutes chatting with him gets me rejuvenated. And yea I got my nerves on point once again.

To get some sleep, I decided to check on my favourite soapie, House of Zwide on some FB page. They usually post episodes in advance and some of us can binge watch 2 or 3 episodes at once. I don’t know if its not copyright infringement but well am just a viewer. If its any harm, askies, to the HOZ team. I do this in good faith, since the storyline is so captivating that I wish it was a novel, I could have finished reading it by now. Talking of faith, am really worried about Faith Zwide. Her mental breakdown triggered some memories. It helped me see the gap of our understanding in mental health matters as Africans. I got to question myself that are ghosts really there or its her guilty conscience playing bananas with her. Being black am thinking her issue needs exorcism but now a little enlightened on mental health, I feel some professional medical attention can set her free.

Its sad that Funani and Nkosi actually believe that she is faking it. They don’t know uBusi won’t rest until she takes Faith’s soul too. Why is she haunting her now though after 20 years of Ona not knowing her true identity? This then makes me believe that, her mind is now conscious that she is getting down. Because she is overwhelmed and under so much stress, the mind can no longer take it in hence the hallucinations. Mental health conditions are the worst so far because not many understand them.

Many are ashamed to talk about them or even just acknowledging they are not okay. I always say this, its okay not to be okay cos I too got not-okay-moments at times. It sucks not being yourself, dealing with demons that only you can see. Good thing is nothing ever stays the same. Whenever it gets dark and cloudy, rains are closer. It might pour on you but be rest assured, the rainbow will cover the sky and calm the raging storm. The sun will shine again and all will be well. Uzoba strong Ms Faith, you haven’t been my favourite character but on this one am with you.

Hugs and kisses to you

Insecure

Insecurities made by one’s promiscuity
I couldn’t let go, consumed all the toxicity
And they now suffocate
My innocent soul
I lost trust in all masculinity
Each time history acts like its playing repeat
I cower into my shell
Each missed call on a Friday night
Gets me into a relapse of the trauma once caused
By being with a cheat
I lost trust in that gender
They say it is earned
But how do I express my fears without showing the insecurities?
I wanna be the perfect girl
Who shines through it all
But the anxiety of what he is doing when he is MIA drains me
“Heal first.”
They tell me
Each time I make that move to be with the next one
Deep inside I feel I have healed
But scars always remain
And its like the wounds never heal
As each time he blue ticks my Whatsapp messages
I turn red with rage
I want him to know my fragility
But I have been taught to be strong
Big girls don’t cry, I remind myself
Maybe he is just too busy
And well, he is not that one
I lost trust in the one I wanna have children with
Should I keep holding on?
Giving him the benefit of doubt?
Maybe he aint what I met in my past
And his reasons for being MIA and the blue ticks are genuine
He apologies when I open my mouth to complain
Wait…. isn’t what that one would do?
Impatience doesn’t exist in my vocabulary
I take my time in taking in all the shenanigans
The scars aren’t healing coz the wounds got deeper
I moved on because I vowed never to loose hope in love
But the insecurities forever linger
I wish he knew how dark my past has been
So that he wont bring the memories back again
💔

TalesOfTabitha

_tellAtale_

12.06.2022: 2221hrs