Tag: mental health issues

Back from the blues

Over the past few weeks, I have been going through a rough patch. All in my life seemed upside down. Getting out of bed was such a huge task but I had to. At 5 am daily, my alarm would remind me that it’s time to face another day. This call made me super scared coz the days were coming with more sorrow than joy. I felt disturbed but no one could see it unless I told them the mess I was. At times I just found tears trickling down even when I kept confessing that, “I am okay.” This felt deceiving because I was just too far from being okay.

Crawl if you must…

I am grateful for all those who showered me with so much love through comforting words although for a moment they felt like heavy blows on my weary soul because they sounded like a boring song stuck on replay. Deep inside, I just needed an immediate solution to the breakdown trigger. When I calmed a bit and paid attention to the words, I picked the silver lining and am like inasmuch as throwing in the towel feels so noble for me lemme give myself another chance. Another chance to try again, another chance to ride over the tide, another chance to believe in me, another chance to shine again… In this dark space, I got to be questioning God a million times and even accused Him of abandoning me but He reminded me that He will forever be God in good and bad times. His grace is sufficient for me, He gently whispered, “Be still…” The moment I got still all the noise within silenced and peace was all I got.

Not Forgotten Remembered with LOVE Book Launch advert

I wrote and compiled a Mental Health Awareness Poetry Anthology with other poets and experiencing some anxiety and depression after the launch of such an inspiring project was the least I expected. But I realised am not immune to the pressures and stresses of life. It takes so much courage and brevity to keep your head up high in these trying times. Not everyone really understands your inner battles, cherish the few who does. During this dark phase, I cried, vented and prayed. There were days I spent in bed, nothing made sense but today, here I am writing another song of hope. I haven’t conquered what got me down but I allowed myself to be still and start over again… I know sooner or later, I will get that which am longing for; I just keep the faith and focus.

Grab a copy at only US$10…

Let’s take care of our mental health and desist from being too hard on us…

Mental Health Matters: triggered by HOZ Episode

I had a busy day trying to balance books for my new retailing business. August has been a trial run to check if it’s feasible and it has proved to be lucrative. It is said that opportunity meets preparedness, am glad that I took time to plan and get ready for this endeavour. I am forever grateful for every person who has supported me and trusted me with their needs. God bless you all.

Imagine!

After such a long day, all you gotta do is rest but it’s one of those days when insomnia is saying let’s stay together mami. I had a little squabble with a friend and I could sense myself losing it. At least I managed to cut the call and texted him a few reminders on our boundaries. I then had another healthier call with another friend who inspires me a lot. A few minutes chatting with him gets me rejuvenated. And yea I got my nerves on point once again.

Exactly!

To get some sleep, I decided to check on my favourite soapie, House of Zwide on some FB page. They usually post episodes in advance and some of us can binge watch 2 or 3 episodes at once. I don’t know if its not copyright infringement but well am just a viewer. If its any harm, askies, to the HOZ team. I do this in good faith, since the storyline is so captivating that I wish it was a novel, I could have finished reading it by now. Talking of faith, am really worried about Faith Zwide. Her mental breakdown triggered some memories. It helped me see the gap of our understanding in mental health matters as Africans. I got to question myself that are ghosts really there or its her guilty conscience playing bananas with her. Being black am thinking her issue needs exorcism but now a little enlightened on mental health, I feel some professional medical attention can set her free.

Simply, my favourite so far.

Its sad that Funani and Nkosi actually believe that she is faking it. They don’t know uBusi won’t rest until she takes Faith’s soul too. Why is she haunting her now though after 20 years of Ona not knowing her true identity? This then makes me believe that, her mind is now conscious that she is getting down. Because she is overwhelmed and under so much stress, the mind can no longer take it in hence the hallucinations. Mental health conditions are the worst so far because not many understand them.

Before the mental breakdown…

Many are ashamed to talk about them or even just acknowledging they are not okay. I always say this, its okay not to be okay cos I too got not-okay-moments at times. It sucks not being yourself, dealing with demons that only you can see. Good thing is nothing ever stays the same. Whenever it gets dark and cloudy, rains are closer. It might pour on you but be rest assured, the rainbow will cover the sky and calm the raging storm. The sun will shine again and all will be well. Uzoba strong Ms Faith, you haven’t been my favourite character but on this one am with you.

Hugs and kisses to you