Blood is Thicker than Water

In my years on this planet, one important lesson I’ve learned is that family comes first. My grandfather was a polygamist with seven wives, which has made my family quite large. I define my family ties in three categories:

Biological Family: My parents, siblings, and children.
Immediate Family: My father’s biological siblings and their families.
Extended Family: The rest of the family members in my grandfather’s polygamous relations.

One thing I’ve learned from my family is that amai ndi Mai, baba ndi Baba—we rarely use terms like babamukuru, Maiguru, bamunini, or mainini, or even “cousins.” If Portia is from the immediate or extended family, that doesn’t make her a cousin to me; she’s simply my sister, and I call her Akoma.

I love my family. We may not be perfect, but our diversity makes us beautiful. The happy moments, drama, feuds, and sad times fulfill our human nature.

I’ve observed that the bigger the family, the more drama there is. Now that I’m an adult, I’m experiencing the reality of family feuds. I wonder if our family ties will withstand the test of time. There seem to be more divisions and selfishness creeping in.

It feels like death keeps robbing us of the people who held our family together. If they’re not gone, they’re often accused of witchcraft. It’s truly sad. The fabric of our family is disintegrating with each passing moment. Could these be the last days mentioned in the Holy Book, in 2 Timothy 3:1–5? Angazi, but I ponder what will become of us if we fail to hold up our families.

No matter what happens, family comes first, and it’s blood that keeps us together. Friends can play their part, but there will always come a time when someone from your bloodline is needed.

I hope we can mend our shortcomings and be a family that stands together, keeping our ties strong. Nothing should destroy the Samanyanga blood in us as the offspring of Mawire Dickson Manyonga.

It rained cats and dogs

Today, the heavens unleashed a torrential downpour, and I swear, it rained cats and dogs – literally! The corrugated roof of my vintage abode, a relic from the Rhodesian era, sounded like a racetrack as the dogs seemed to chase the cats above me. Built to last, this sturdy house has weathered decades, but sadly, neglect has taken its toll.

As a new civil servant, I’ve inherited this dilapidated gem, and let’s just say, it’s a fixer-upper. But nothing could’ve prepared me for the terror of watching the roof rip off, unleashing a deluge into my humble space. Trauma doesn’t begin to describe the feeling. Yet, gratitude fills my heart – I escaped unscathed, and my modest belongings remained intact.

In that moment, all I wanted was the comfort of home and family. Adulting can be overwhelming, but duty calls. I’ll face the music, roll up my sleeves, and tackle the renovations head-on. After all, this old house needs a new lease on life – and so do I.

As the storm raged on, fear wrapped its icy grip around my heart, and tears streamed down my face. Desperate for help, I made the call that would change everything. Within minutes, a cavalry of kindness arrived.

First, the Councillor’s Secretary rushed to my side, followed by the HR and Administrator from my department’s district office. Last but not least, my Supervisor arrived, their faces etched with concern.

Together, they brought more than just temporary renovations – they brought hope. With their plan, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

As I watched them spring into action, I felt a sense of gratitude wash over me. It’s a blessing to be surrounded by people who truly care. Their love and support were the sunshine I needed to weather this storm.

For the first time in hours, I felt a sense of peace settle in. Tonight, I’ll rest well, knowing I’m not alone. The darkness of the storm has been illuminated by the light of kindness.

How Do I Know a Man Truly Loves Me?

It’s a thrilling feeling to tap into that creative energy, the kind that ignites the writer within me and compels me to share my thoughts 😊. Before diving into today’s story, I want to extend my heartfelt thanks to all of you who took the time to comment—whether here or in person. Your feedback means the world to me, and yes, some sense has indeed been knocked into my head. I love you all; you’re the reason I keep writing! ❣️

After navigating a few romantic relationships that ultimately didn’t pan out, I found myself reflecting on the patterns I keep repeating. What is it that I need to break free from? Insight after insight has been bubbling up, and with a little divine help, I’ve started to make sense of it all.

Last night, I struck up a conversation with my good friend Pastor Casper and posed the question that’s been on my mind: “How do I know a man truly loves me?” He replied with a question of his own, “How old is the guy?” I shared the background of someone who has caught my attention: “42, a divorcee with two kids…”

“What happened in his previous relationship?” he probed.

“He said their priorities no longer aligned, so they parted ways four years ago. They’re both moving on with their lives.”

“Ooh, I see. I ask because I’ve heard stories of divorcees going back to their exes when things get tough…”

His words struck a chord, sending me into deep contemplation. I’ve tried dating single guys before, only to be met with the excuse, “What if your baby dad comes back?”

No matter how many times I explained that we both agreed to love each other from a distance—co-parenting but not rekindling—I was left heartbroken. It made me wonder: how much does our past hinder our ability to embrace the present and future?

Sure, some people reunite with their first loves, but others are ready to start fresh. I told my beloved friend that I’m choosing to leave the past behind and allow myself to explore this new connection. He seems to check all my boxes, and while nothing is set in stone yet, I’m seriously considering giving it a shot! 😀

So, dear Readers, keep me in your prayers as I navigate this journey toward what I hope will be my happily ever after. And, of course, how do I truly know he is the one?

Will the Red Flags Ever Turn Pinkish?

I met this charming man, and he has everything that makes the hopeless romantic in me look forward to a happily ever after. You might be wondering why I don’t just say he’s my everything—well, it’s because he’s only partly that. We’re still in the attraction phase of our relationship. Oh yes, I’m aware of the stages of romance! Lately, I’ve been thinking maybe I could be a relationship coach soon—like, very soon! Hahaha!

Back to my charming guy: we’re getting to know each other, and of course, the red flags always have a way of popping up, even in the early stages. But girl, you know how it is—we ignore them and hope they might turn pink. Hot pink kinda looks like red, right? Especially if you’re color blind like me! Hahaha!

This Mr. Charming has a knack for shutting me out and dismissing my opinions and concerns. So far, in barely a month of knowing each other, he’s ghosted me twice after misunderstandings. The first time, he stood me up, and I got so mad I deleted his contact. Oh boy, the infatuation was overwhelming, and after 48 hours of deafening silence, I found his number and reached out. When I questioned why he hadn’t looked for me, he said, “You had blocked me since I couldn’t view your DP on WhatsApp, so I was waiting for you to calm down before reaching out.” To show he still cared, he showed up at my place soon after our call. We went to a nearby chill spot where we talked—no physical intimacy at all. I respected him more for keeping his hands to himself.

He’s such a wonderful person in person; he can make you fall in love with him all over again. Before he left, he promised to take me on a proper date the next day. That day came, and he kept affirming he would pick me up. But guess what? I ended up being stood up for the second time. I texted him about the importance of clear communication when plans change. He apologized, saying he had gone out with the boys and ended up drinking one too many.

My empathetic heart let it slide, but that was just the beginning of some mean remarks from him and a bit of avoidance. We don’t live far apart, but he’s either too busy to see me or thinks it’s good to miss each other. So, the naive me has to believe he’s actually busy or that he genuinely misses me.

I’ve been trying to stay positive because I tend to worry a lot. So, I tell myself, “Tabi, let’s keep on the positive end of the worrying spectrum. He’s a good guy who would never harm you, so whatever he says, he means it. If you feel otherwise, it’s just the negative speaking…” It sounds noble, but a part of me wonders if we’re going anywhere. Still, I’m holding onto hope that he changes.

Recently, I aired my concerns, and he said he heard me and would make time for us soon. Well, I guess I’ll just wait for him, hahaha, as I ponder the question, “Will the red flags ever turn pinkish?”

Beloved readers, what’s your take? Your hopeless romantic here needs some sense knocked into her thick skull.

Till next time, keep the comments coming!

No More Excuses!

Every Tuesday morning when my alarm rings at 6am, I get a WordPress reminder that it’s time to share a story on my blog. It’s been three good months ignoring that reminder because of a million EXCUSES… I love writing with a passion and it’s one thing that brings me so much fulfilment but well here I am for the I- don’t -no th time apologising to you my lovely Readers for starving you. I know you enjoy the tales so much and once again I promise to keep you satiated from the oasis of my story telling.

I honestly didn’t plan on what am going to share today but I just told myself, “You are going to write whether you are in it or not. NO MORE EXCUSES!” Yea, that really stuck in my thick skull and got my hand to mind coordination into action.

Someone commented on my consistency in some fitness group I am in on Whatsapp. The group was opened 6 weeks ago and all participants are on a quest to drop some calories. I have religiously updated all my working out and food intake in that group even when I cheat, I state how and why. So, just having someone appreciating how much I have been consistent got me thinking of all the other areas that I have stopped paying attention to because; I am less motivated, it’s not paying off, a lot is going on in my mind, my new job is taking all my time and creativity, single-parenting is taxing, bla bla bla… I mean just because of a million EXCUSES.

This thought struck a cord and I vowed to make a positive change towards all my excuses. Instead of excuses am going to execute so, am getting back on the drawing board and give myself another 6 week challenge, where am not only focusing on weight loss but a complete mindset shift and spreading my consistency to all the areas I had sabotaged.

So, by the way in the fitness group we were on a 6-week-intensive-weight loss journey. I have been so much longing to weigh 65kg since 2022 when I realised I had ballooned but from 78kg I got to 73kg. Sometime in February this year, I told myself I will get on working out and portion control in food intake and I dropped off to 68kg in 2 months. Then that’s when I came across this amazing platform which I joined on the 20th of April and the 6-week journey commenced on the 22nd of April up to the 2nd of June and I am now on 64kg. So, now am left with mantaining and toning up my body. I am super-excited, I did it 💃🏿.

More on this journey will be shared in my upcoming blogs. Stay tuned❣️

Tabitha, is a year older❣

Walking into a new chapter of my life with so much courage and brevity, letting go the past…

A few days ago, Tabitha turned a year older. It feels so good to grow up, to see each new day, to embrace all that it brings. No matter how hard it can be, I am forever grateful for this wonderful gift of lift. I still strive to be the best version of me. I can’t deny I am getting so much impatient with a lot of things in my life, I just feel there are so many delays. Well they say delay is not denial so, help me Lord to be a little more patient. When the time is right all will perfectly fall into place, I still believe.

My birthday started on a very bad note but my rising above spirit kept me afloat. I had bae putting up an unnecessary tantrum on me because I had checked on our plans for the day, it wasn’t nothing new, we do this frequently but on this day guess he got to be on his menses 😂. We had our squabble but I did not allow it to get to me instead I channelled my energy to cleaning up some new business joint. Y’all know Tabitha is a hustler so, another idea is being brewed.

As I thought I had had enough for the day, daddy dearest got me another unwelcome surprise. He started some negative talk which I sweetly silenced him by asking him to be the support system he is meant to be. I am glad he listened and we left each other on a somewhat good standing. It really felt like they had teamed up on me with bae but well no man whatsoever was gonna mess up my day.

I went for the cleaning spree which was so therapeautic, had two friends helping me out, Precy and Liz. After cleaning up we went for ice cream with Liz. It was the perfect birthday treat ever. I felt super relieved when we left the ice-cream joint. I got home to find my daughter waiting for a cake. I promised her to get one after the back to school hustle so, am already in debt in less than 10 days into the new year 😂.

It is what it is but am glad I made the most of a day I thought was going to be sombre. This new year added unto me will surely be remarkable, I can sense it all over and around me; that 6th sense, it never lies.

Back from the blues

Over the past few weeks, I have been going through a rough patch. All in my life seemed upside down. Getting out of bed was such a huge task but I had to. At 5 am daily, my alarm would remind me that it’s time to face another day. This call made me super scared coz the days were coming with more sorrow than joy. I felt disturbed but no one could see it unless I told them the mess I was. At times I just found tears trickling down even when I kept confessing that, “I am okay.” This felt deceiving because I was just too far from being okay.

I am grateful for all those who showered me with so much love through comforting words although for a moment they felt like heavy blows on my weary soul because they sounded like a boring song stuck on replay. Deep inside, I just needed an immediate solution to the breakdown trigger. When I calmed a bit and paid attention to the words, I picked the silver lining and am like inasmuch as throwing in the towel feels so noble for me lemme give myself another chance. Another chance to try again, another chance to ride over the tide, another chance to believe in me, another chance to shine again… In this dark space, I got to be questioning God a million times and even accused Him of abandoning me but He reminded me that He will forever be God in good and bad times. His grace is sufficient for me, He gently whispered, “Be still…” The moment I got still all the noise within silenced and peace was all I got.

Not Forgotten Remembered with LOVE Book Launch advert

I wrote and compiled a Mental Health Awareness Poetry Anthology with other poets and experiencing some anxiety and depression after the launch of such an inspiring project was the least I expected. But I realised am not immune to the pressures and stresses of life. It takes so much courage and brevity to keep your head up high in these trying times. Not everyone really understands your inner battles, cherish the few who does. During this dark phase, I cried, vented and prayed. There were days I spent in bed, nothing made sense but today, here I am writing another song of hope. I haven’t conquered what got me down but I allowed myself to be still and start over again… I know sooner or later, I will get that which am longing for; I just keep the faith and focus.

Let’s take care of our mental health and desist from being too hard on us…

Support and stop suffocating small businesses

I come from a nation where almost everyone is in business. Majority of the youths are “entrepreneurs”. I quote because if we get to the literal meaning of the term, guess only a quarter fits in; but well, it is what it is. One thing that I have observed in my so many years of doing this entrepreneurship thingy is that most of the businesses suffer from stunted growth. There are so many factors to this but I just want to look at one area which has boggled me for a long time; which is how we tend to take advantage of each others’ small businesses.

I mean when we walk into the bigger stores we never negotiate the prices for what we are interested in purchasing. We just pay the price silently but when I decide to support a fellow sister or brother, I treat them like am doing them a favour. Of course, many a time the small business is in dire need of any amount you offer but have you thought of how much you are inhibiting its growth by offering peanuts?

I have come to the realisation that when we are in business, we are all assisting each other. I have a product/service you need/want and vice versa. None of us should make each other feel like they are being taken advantage of. Negotiations are allowed but to a little extent; one can’t be explaining their pricing model over and over again. If you ain’t happy with what is being offered, move to the next seller and stop making others feel bad for stating their price. Funny thing you can purchase expensive stuff in well known stores so, why not respect the small businesses? We all want to grow and kindly understand the efforts we put in our work to give you satisfaction. You ain’t doing anyone a favour by choosing them to offer you services.

I pray that I also become a better supporter for other people’s businesses. From now on, I wanna walk into small businesses with utmost respect and be willing to pay the price as stated. I don’t want to be the reason why someone else’s business remains stuck on the same spot. They would rather suffer from all the unmentioned factors in this blog and not this one. We are in this together❣️

Better late than never: Compliments of the New season, 2023…

Hey, hey 👋, it’s been a very loooooong time since I visited this spot, pardon me, as usual and always life been happening. I got stuck in 2022 but am glad my 2023 begins now. They say its better late than never so this blog post is a compilation of the snippets I was piling up. Good thing is I had been writing but just lost the guts to finish off and post. My mind been all over the place and it feels good to hold it up again 😊.

So, we now in 2023, never thought I would manage to get the strength to write cos’ my life been spiralling down. I never anticipated to start my new year on a bad note but well life happened. Am glad that am good at making lemonade out of lemons so, dear demons couldn’t conquer me. I chose to write because this is my safe space. One area that gets me unleashing all my emotions without being scared of any judgements. 2022 been fairly a good year, I made crucial decisions and am glad I got the courage. One of them being quitting my job, it was tough but had to do it for my sanity cos the environment turned to be a bit toxic. I couldn’t keep up with the pressure. Hahaha had to eliminate the statement, “I can work under pressure,” from my CV. Pressure suffocates me, am good working at my own pace. RuvaraShe Creative Writes and Peta Agro Initiatives has been my antidote; thanks to Solly Mangka and Ms Pearl for believing in me and reminding me of what I am capable of. Manuscripts have kept me sane as well as my Agro expertise. I got duped on my retailing hustle but as the year came to an end I made peace with it. When the going gets tough, I seek comfort in the saying, ‘I fall to rise again.’ You can tell I have risen cos am updating my blog 🤣. Overally, 2022 taught me much and am grateful for all the lessons; I pray 2023 will be a better space.

Beginning of each year I share some motivational post but well this year I been MIA. Deep inside it still felt like I was in 2022 and today I woke up feeling like its my new year. Funny thing January is my birth month and contrary to the common thing of partying on my born day, I decided to celebrate it low-key in bed. This had been my longest beauty sleep ever. The bed gave me so much comfort, had the sweetest dreams ever. I literally wrote in my diary, “My 2023 has just begun and am running with the theme 20plentyFREEdom and Flexibility. I refuse any entanglements, anything that doesn’t serve me right, anything that distracts my focus, anything not worth my energy; I am free mentally, emotionally, physically and all cally… At the same time, am flexible to changes, I am embracing things that I can not change and keep the focus. Gratitude and love is my antidote in this chapter of my life. I promise me to be at peace at all cost!” I really intended to start my newest year on this day but I wasn’t ready. Hahaha am laughing at my thoughts as I write, I mean do we ever get ready to start a new year or it just happens? Well, Tabitha lives in a world of all possibilities and am glad she is back to life.

My birth month brought me so much joy as I have been watching my baby starting off school. It’s amazing how time flies and the little one has been so much waiting to join her other friends in school. I still remember the excitement that she had when her school bus arrived to fetch her on the first day. Throughout this first month she has been fairly a good child with a few complaints here and there but am super proud of my baby girl. It feels good seeing her become a big girl.

Now that I have managed to get my writing mojo back, I pray in this season, I will be more consistent in sharing my tales, poems, inspirations and all that you find here. Thank you all for the likes and subscriptions, you keep me going. Much love 💓.

It’s never too late to start afresh

So, I decided to watch the Dahmer Monster: Jeffrey Dahmer story, a series on Netflix. I saw a couple of reviews on FB when it was termed satanic but I chose to watch it after I heard it was true crime. I thought I was going to see some eerie stuff but well it wasn’t that scary but of course, it got me thinking deeply of what kind of a world we are in.

Most of the things that happened there were before I was born and am thinking times have changed and there might be more of these heart rending incidents happening now. But the most striking part is when Jeff chose to be baptised so, the whole night I been thinking after all those gruesome murders, He repents and got baptised and gets access to Heaven, just like that. Of course, the human nature in me screams, “No maan! It cant be!” But well His ways are not our ways. If Jeff’s repentance was truthful he is dining with the angels and us judges on earth might end up rotting in hell for it is said, “Judge not.” Its easy to put sins on a scale but one thing I learnt is sin is sin. There isn’t first nor third degree sin. So, help me Lord.

Seeing this series made me realise its never too late to make a change. God loves you, nomatter how dirty you might feel; that step towards Him can make a difference. Nothing under the sun ever stays the same so, never hesitate to start afresh. Each new day given to you is an opportunity to start over and shine. It doesn’t matter that it’s year end and you haven’t accomplished much, you still have an opportunity to do it all as long as you are alive. Keep on pushing, keep on trying, you will get there.