Whispers of the night

In the stillness of the night,
thoughts of you drift through my mind.
How did our paths intertwine?
From where did you emerge?
A village boy, humble and unassuming,
in a world so vast,
a city girl like me seemed worlds away.

I could craft a thousand reasons,
explain how you weren’t my type,
yet, like a thief in the dark,
you stealthily captured my heart.
Unbeknownst to me,
I fell, head over heels,
our love story blossomed,
growing organically,
little by little,
deepening with each shared moment.

Your gaze, warm and sincere,
your smile, a gentle caress,
made me melt like snow in spring.
You reminded me how love can sweep us away,
but you were never truly mine to hold.
I savored each fleeting moment,
now left with only echoes
of our perfect times together.

I Will Never Be This Broke Ever, Ever Again

You will realize the importance of the Econet $0.30 hour data bundle when all you’ve got left is a mere $0.36 in your bank account. It’s January, and for the past two years—this being the third—I’ve been experiencing a super dry spell during this month. Kutoshaya kobiri chaiko 🤦🏾‍♀️. I’ve been so broke that I can’t even manage to get myself a $1 WhatsApp bundle zvayo. In this era, you just need to stay connected on the internet— manje ndopandakaita kutsva.

This brokeness got me reminiscing about a time last year when I miraculously received $273 worth of airtime. To this day, I’m unaware where this much airtime came from— haa ndange ndakanaka team rangu. Sharing is caring, so I shared some of that airtime with friends, settled some debts through data purchases, and had so much data that I wish I had saved it. But well, matakadya kare haanyaradze mwana. Those are now just good memories.

I suck big time at handling finances, even though I get so much money my way. This year, I told myself I would do things differently, especially kune zvemari uku. I’ve enrolled in a virtual Financial Literacy class with Let’s Talk Personal Finances, led by Tarie and Clare. The group is called Fin Lit Besties. It’s a six-month course worth $165 ($15 registration fee and $25/month). I believe this investment will multiply tens of thousands fold. We’re just a few days into the class, but I’m already gleaning so much. Haa ndikuitirwa zvakanaka.

I am so deliberate, intentional, and purposeful about having a good relationship with my money. Ayehwa mari ndotoitsvaga zvekudero, but hey, I spend it willy-nilly. I’m tired of all this hard work with nothing to show for it. Haa, this year, January is the last month I write a blog and fail to publish it on time because handina data zvaro. No mhani, I strongly refuse to be this broke ever, ever again! I’m doing all it takes— nditoitawo hanzi inonzi emergency fund. Imi kutaura kuno ndikawirwa nedambudziko ndinenge ndisina pekubata.

Payday seems so far away vasikana. Back to school has humbled me— apa ndichitori nemazi arrears 😂. I’m grateful that the head at my daughter’s school was understanding and allowed her to start school nepashoma pandakavabatisa. Apa gaya mu newcomer hake 😂😂😂. Haa, I vow to be paying chero ma advance from this moment and forever.

In 2025, haa, I’ll be clearing my debts, saving, and making some long-lasting investments. Handisi kuita zvekutamba, my relationship with money ikufanirwa kuswatanuka by fire, by force. Ndombozvida here zvekutambura, no mhani!!!

I will never be this broke ever, ever again. Watch this space!!!

Book 30, Chapter 3 Opened

Oh, God, it’s my birthday! I’m super excited to witness yet another beautiful year. This surely marks the beginning of stunning experiences, life-transforming challenges, epic moments, and cherished memories.

I feel blessed to have been born in the first month of the year. Although, where I come from, January isn’t considered an ideal month for many. For me, however, it’s a special time – the moment God chose for me to join His earthly creation. So, I’m going to make the most of it!

Instead of sharing a Happy New Year post earlier, I decided to save it for this special day. Nonetheless, I’d like to extend my warmest compliments of the new season, 2025! May all your heart’s desires be fulfilled in this beautiful year.

To truly experience the newness this year has to offer, make a conscious decision to do something differently. An increment in age is a poignant reminder that time is passing. As I grow older, I recognize the need for change.

The adulting journey is becoming more real, and I’m embracing it with each passing moment. This new year brings new opportunities, and I’m committed to making it worthwhile. I’ll take each goal I’ve set seriously, refusing to remain stagnant.

I’m eager to witness positive changes in all aspects of my life. Bring it on, 2025! I’m ready. Watch this space❣️❣️❣️

Blood is Thicker than Water

In my years on this planet, one important lesson I’ve learned is that family comes first. My grandfather was a polygamist with seven wives, which has made my family quite large. I define my family ties in three categories:

Biological Family: My parents, siblings, and children.
Immediate Family: My father’s biological siblings and their families.
Extended Family: The rest of the family members in my grandfather’s polygamous relations.

One thing I’ve learned from my family is that amai ndi Mai, baba ndi Baba—we rarely use terms like babamukuru, Maiguru, bamunini, or mainini, or even “cousins.” If Portia is from the immediate or extended family, that doesn’t make her a cousin to me; she’s simply my sister, and I call her Akoma.

I love my family. We may not be perfect, but our diversity makes us beautiful. The happy moments, drama, feuds, and sad times fulfill our human nature.

I’ve observed that the bigger the family, the more drama there is. Now that I’m an adult, I’m experiencing the reality of family feuds. I wonder if our family ties will withstand the test of time. There seem to be more divisions and selfishness creeping in.

It feels like death keeps robbing us of the people who held our family together. If they’re not gone, they’re often accused of witchcraft. It’s truly sad. The fabric of our family is disintegrating with each passing moment. Could these be the last days mentioned in the Holy Book, in 2 Timothy 3:1–5? Angazi, but I ponder what will become of us if we fail to hold up our families.

No matter what happens, family comes first, and it’s blood that keeps us together. Friends can play their part, but there will always come a time when someone from your bloodline is needed.

I hope we can mend our shortcomings and be a family that stands together, keeping our ties strong. Nothing should destroy the Samanyanga blood in us as the offspring of Mawire Dickson Manyonga.

It rained cats and dogs

Today, the heavens unleashed a torrential downpour, and I swear, it rained cats and dogs – literally! The corrugated roof of my vintage abode, a relic from the Rhodesian era, sounded like a racetrack as the dogs seemed to chase the cats above me. Built to last, this sturdy house has weathered decades, but sadly, neglect has taken its toll.

As a new civil servant, I’ve inherited this dilapidated gem, and let’s just say, it’s a fixer-upper. But nothing could’ve prepared me for the terror of watching the roof rip off, unleashing a deluge into my humble space. Trauma doesn’t begin to describe the feeling. Yet, gratitude fills my heart – I escaped unscathed, and my modest belongings remained intact.

In that moment, all I wanted was the comfort of home and family. Adulting can be overwhelming, but duty calls. I’ll face the music, roll up my sleeves, and tackle the renovations head-on. After all, this old house needs a new lease on life – and so do I.

As the storm raged on, fear wrapped its icy grip around my heart, and tears streamed down my face. Desperate for help, I made the call that would change everything. Within minutes, a cavalry of kindness arrived.

First, the Councillor’s Secretary rushed to my side, followed by the HR and Administrator from my department’s district office. Last but not least, my Supervisor arrived, their faces etched with concern.

Together, they brought more than just temporary renovations – they brought hope. With their plan, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

As I watched them spring into action, I felt a sense of gratitude wash over me. It’s a blessing to be surrounded by people who truly care. Their love and support were the sunshine I needed to weather this storm.

For the first time in hours, I felt a sense of peace settle in. Tonight, I’ll rest well, knowing I’m not alone. The darkness of the storm has been illuminated by the light of kindness.

How Do I Know a Man Truly Loves Me?

It’s a thrilling feeling to tap into that creative energy, the kind that ignites the writer within me and compels me to share my thoughts 😊. Before diving into today’s story, I want to extend my heartfelt thanks to all of you who took the time to comment—whether here or in person. Your feedback means the world to me, and yes, some sense has indeed been knocked into my head. I love you all; you’re the reason I keep writing! ❣️

After navigating a few romantic relationships that ultimately didn’t pan out, I found myself reflecting on the patterns I keep repeating. What is it that I need to break free from? Insight after insight has been bubbling up, and with a little divine help, I’ve started to make sense of it all.

Last night, I struck up a conversation with my good friend Pastor Casper and posed the question that’s been on my mind: “How do I know a man truly loves me?” He replied with a question of his own, “How old is the guy?” I shared the background of someone who has caught my attention: “42, a divorcee with two kids…”

“What happened in his previous relationship?” he probed.

“He said their priorities no longer aligned, so they parted ways four years ago. They’re both moving on with their lives.”

“Ooh, I see. I ask because I’ve heard stories of divorcees going back to their exes when things get tough…”

His words struck a chord, sending me into deep contemplation. I’ve tried dating single guys before, only to be met with the excuse, “What if your baby dad comes back?”

No matter how many times I explained that we both agreed to love each other from a distance—co-parenting but not rekindling—I was left heartbroken. It made me wonder: how much does our past hinder our ability to embrace the present and future?

Sure, some people reunite with their first loves, but others are ready to start fresh. I told my beloved friend that I’m choosing to leave the past behind and allow myself to explore this new connection. He seems to check all my boxes, and while nothing is set in stone yet, I’m seriously considering giving it a shot! 😀

So, dear Readers, keep me in your prayers as I navigate this journey toward what I hope will be my happily ever after. And, of course, how do I truly know he is the one?

Will the Red Flags Ever Turn Pinkish?

I met this charming man, and he has everything that makes the hopeless romantic in me look forward to a happily ever after. You might be wondering why I don’t just say he’s my everything—well, it’s because he’s only partly that. We’re still in the attraction phase of our relationship. Oh yes, I’m aware of the stages of romance! Lately, I’ve been thinking maybe I could be a relationship coach soon—like, very soon! Hahaha!

Back to my charming guy: we’re getting to know each other, and of course, the red flags always have a way of popping up, even in the early stages. But girl, you know how it is—we ignore them and hope they might turn pink. Hot pink kinda looks like red, right? Especially if you’re color blind like me! Hahaha!

This Mr. Charming has a knack for shutting me out and dismissing my opinions and concerns. So far, in barely a month of knowing each other, he’s ghosted me twice after misunderstandings. The first time, he stood me up, and I got so mad I deleted his contact. Oh boy, the infatuation was overwhelming, and after 48 hours of deafening silence, I found his number and reached out. When I questioned why he hadn’t looked for me, he said, “You had blocked me since I couldn’t view your DP on WhatsApp, so I was waiting for you to calm down before reaching out.” To show he still cared, he showed up at my place soon after our call. We went to a nearby chill spot where we talked—no physical intimacy at all. I respected him more for keeping his hands to himself.

He’s such a wonderful person in person; he can make you fall in love with him all over again. Before he left, he promised to take me on a proper date the next day. That day came, and he kept affirming he would pick me up. But guess what? I ended up being stood up for the second time. I texted him about the importance of clear communication when plans change. He apologized, saying he had gone out with the boys and ended up drinking one too many.

My empathetic heart let it slide, but that was just the beginning of some mean remarks from him and a bit of avoidance. We don’t live far apart, but he’s either too busy to see me or thinks it’s good to miss each other. So, the naive me has to believe he’s actually busy or that he genuinely misses me.

I’ve been trying to stay positive because I tend to worry a lot. So, I tell myself, “Tabi, let’s keep on the positive end of the worrying spectrum. He’s a good guy who would never harm you, so whatever he says, he means it. If you feel otherwise, it’s just the negative speaking…” It sounds noble, but a part of me wonders if we’re going anywhere. Still, I’m holding onto hope that he changes.

Recently, I aired my concerns, and he said he heard me and would make time for us soon. Well, I guess I’ll just wait for him, hahaha, as I ponder the question, “Will the red flags ever turn pinkish?”

Beloved readers, what’s your take? Your hopeless romantic here needs some sense knocked into her thick skull.

Till next time, keep the comments coming!

No More Excuses!

Every Tuesday morning when my alarm rings at 6am, I get a WordPress reminder that it’s time to share a story on my blog. It’s been three good months ignoring that reminder because of a million EXCUSES… I love writing with a passion and it’s one thing that brings me so much fulfilment but well here I am for the I- don’t -no th time apologising to you my lovely Readers for starving you. I know you enjoy the tales so much and once again I promise to keep you satiated from the oasis of my story telling.

I honestly didn’t plan on what am going to share today but I just told myself, “You are going to write whether you are in it or not. NO MORE EXCUSES!” Yea, that really stuck in my thick skull and got my hand to mind coordination into action.

Someone commented on my consistency in some fitness group I am in on Whatsapp. The group was opened 6 weeks ago and all participants are on a quest to drop some calories. I have religiously updated all my working out and food intake in that group even when I cheat, I state how and why. So, just having someone appreciating how much I have been consistent got me thinking of all the other areas that I have stopped paying attention to because; I am less motivated, it’s not paying off, a lot is going on in my mind, my new job is taking all my time and creativity, single-parenting is taxing, bla bla bla… I mean just because of a million EXCUSES.

This thought struck a cord and I vowed to make a positive change towards all my excuses. Instead of excuses am going to execute so, am getting back on the drawing board and give myself another 6 week challenge, where am not only focusing on weight loss but a complete mindset shift and spreading my consistency to all the areas I had sabotaged.

So, by the way in the fitness group we were on a 6-week-intensive-weight loss journey. I have been so much longing to weigh 65kg since 2022 when I realised I had ballooned but from 78kg I got to 73kg. Sometime in February this year, I told myself I will get on working out and portion control in food intake and I dropped off to 68kg in 2 months. Then that’s when I came across this amazing platform which I joined on the 20th of April and the 6-week journey commenced on the 22nd of April up to the 2nd of June and I am now on 64kg. So, now am left with mantaining and toning up my body. I am super-excited, I did it 💃🏿.

More on this journey will be shared in my upcoming blogs. Stay tuned❣️

Love my perfect imperfections

I am wired to be perfect
For there hasn’t been a room for any mistake
In my entire life
Each door for excuses is securely locked
Perfection is a requirement
To which if I fail to uphold
I will be doomed
But wait, I am an imperfect being!
Who cares?!
Every mistake made calls for a punishment
How do I unwire the perfectionism
And just acknowledge my imperfections
Because none of us is perfect
We are all full of blemishes
And there is no need for any denigration to anyone whatsoever
Embrace me as I am and allow me to learn from my mistakes
Without so much condemnation
I can only be my best version not perfect.

Naked

He stripped off my clothes passionately
And I stood in front of him unashamed
Waiting for his longing hands to sweep all over me
But instead he looked aside in disgust
My nakedness was no longer as appealing as before
I was no longer appetising
It is at that moment I felt so naked and empty
Although I was carrying his offspring
He hated me because I conceived against his will
No kids, we had promised each other
But did I not take the morning after pill on time?
My strong biology background would never allow me to falter
But it is at this one time that science failed me
And I felt so naked that I hated every fibre of my being
Why did I ever allow him to take off my clothes so that he could look at me in distaste?
He acrimoniously whispered in a hostile voice,
“Get rid of that bloody monster and I can enjoy you once again…”
He banged the door leaving me naked and dumbstruck
Why had I conceived against all odds?
That instant thought made me once again find pride in my nakedness
And I vowed to keep that which was growing within me
He would never see me naked ever ever again
So, I dressed up and left the cursed room feeling blessed and whole again